Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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