Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
