is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
