I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
