I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
