Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
