It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
