there's paper in my vomit.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize