The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize