operation harelip BJ is a go
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
