Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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