i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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