john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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