At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
