you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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