doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
