i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Randomize
