sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
you inspire me to be a worse person
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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