i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
vagina is talking i cant
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
i think my cat just said my name.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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