All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize