Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize