I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize