I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize