I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
