Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
