I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
