This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
