1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Even the bartender felt bad for me
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
