Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Green mimosas i think yes
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
