Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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