yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
