Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
did i walk over a car last night?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
