So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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