Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
