omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
