I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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