just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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