...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
