The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
