hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
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My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
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I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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