smell my finger.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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