Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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