it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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