absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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