just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
