i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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