New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
