i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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