I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
we're making bets on your personal life
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm way too hungover for life right now
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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