nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
