R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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