just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
