You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
