I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I understand Curling. That high.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
