I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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