i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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