If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
