i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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