Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
