took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
